Few enjoy returning to family on festive holidays without someone in tow- a kind of shield if you will. Lets admit having someone on our arm helps deflect the questioning and certain glances we could do without. You know the ones who are thinking or saying it-- the "poor so-and-so has no one in their life." As if you can't take care of your self or be alone and still be happy.
Well, that's yesterdays news. Times have changed. Single status has more glory, or teeth if you will, by today's standards. Yes. You can be happy right where you are and still have no desire to date. After all, there’s no need to date when its all wrong.
Once upon a time I planned a two-year sabbatical free from intimate relationships during a period in my life through 2007 and most of 2008. It was a personal time for reflection. It helped and I succeeded in ways that were not comprehensible in the beginning.
I touch on this period in my life in the post, 8 Keys to Finding Harmony and Balance, a self discovery and investigation after acknowledging a few hefty years looking in the wrong direction. During this time, I focused on my kids, my career and me- in that order. I had reached a 10-year anniversary of my divorce and had just ended a significant relationship. They weren't related. It was mere coincidence.
But still as I looked back I wasn't happy with my current status. I took a step back and reviewed the picture I created. If there is one sole item I walked away with, it's simple relationships with people is all that we need-- that love isn’t as important if you love yourself.
For some, intimacy is the icing on the cake we’d like to ignore or put aside because we know its not good for us right now. And that’s ok. Some may date more thinking we need to have another person in our lives for our children. I've been in both places while single. Early on, I thought it was imperative for my children to see me in a loving relationship and with a woman who could also be a significant role model.
During my personal trials of dating, I subjected myself from the moving-way-to-fast to the inexplicable and why-am-I-doing-this. Regardless, I always stayed true when it came to my children. With few exceptions, I kept my personal life private and my kids were always my priority.
So build that parade platform, ready your self for the ride, single or not, bring in the holidays with great spirit and especially with a renewed attitude. Find all opportunities to be with family and friends to bring in the festivities or host your own party, and take a "bite" out of the projections from naysayers who want to perceive otherwise.
© 2014 Bruce Buccio