"Throughout this book, I felt Bruce had a secret window into my own life and private thoughts. Many private feelings I am currently dealing with were addressed and revealed in a manner that made me feel it is not only normal, but I am truly not alone in this. I was surprised that I cried while reading it and the comfort that the words brought me. I read tons of self-help books, among other types of books, and this book actually gives me hope and things to look forward to. My tears were from the fact that I am facing the words I read. I have been getting negative feedback from outside sources and these words reassured me not to listen, keep them out of your life and do what is right. The section on the other home/parent opened my eyes and freed me. I did not go into reading this book thinking it would help me on such a deep emotional level." ~Dorothy Justice, Vice Chair-Community Action Partnership

March 12, 2014

8 Points That Will Change Your Life

Mostly what I walked away with during this period is that happiness is more derived from a correlation of strengths in your life and not an easily contrived step-by-step process. Happiness happens through dynamic experiences, a thirst for change, a life of learning, reaching for goals, and sharing with those you love.
When I originally developed this compilation over six years ago, I was already into the first of two years of my own personal search-I was in the midst of a two year sabbatical free from intimate relationships. This period in my life was initiated by the culmination of my minor children coming home fulltime and ending a yearlong relationship.

My children and I took advantage of our renewed time together-we grew through dynamic experiences and learned valuable lessons together. Through the process we developed stronger bonds, we learned together what is really important, and we discovered ourselves with each other.

During this period, I created time for introspection. My original vision of this sabbatical was for a year--it felt so good I took almost two. At a mere forty-four years old and 10 years removed from a divorce with my kids mom, I still had questions for myself: How did I get here? What have I accomplished? Where am I going? Finally hitting me, what do I really want?

The main keys I discovered allowed me to incorporate more harmony and balance in my life. During this prosperous journey to uncover and unravel my personal challenges, I wrote the “8 Keys to Finding Harmony and Balance”.

I read many popular books over this time primarily on the subjects of Spirituality, Personal Growth, Love, and Inspiration. I reached for books that jumped off the shelf at me. My search brought me to investigate topics of Buddhism, the art of Zen, Religion and finally the rediscovery of my savior and lord, my Christ and Devine Father. Other subjects I read were Integrity and Truth, being a Man and therefore a better Father, and Love as a hypothesis and model.

I focused on my children, my career, and me in that order. In retrospect, I gained a feeling of life cleansing or detoxification if you will. The value in releasing relationship issues, eating healthier, finding time and merit in exercise, more downtime in reading and quality with my children allowed me the opportunity to reorganize and reprioritize. My career blossomed as a result.

Mostly what I walked away with during this period is that happiness is more derived from a correlation of strengths in your life and not an easily contrived step-by-step process. Happiness happens through dynamic experiences, a thirst for change, a life of learning, reaching for goals, and sharing with those you love.

Sometimes when I hit a bump or two, I always return to the following 8 keys and believe in their capacity to make me feel better. These steps, when combined together, help me channel balance and harmony in my life. Synchronizing these items together will challenge, but as I’ve learned over the years it’s worth it.

8 Keys To Finding Harmony and Balance

1. Be in the present -Focus on the now, find clarity, witness your thoughts and clear your mind of the past and future; release your pains and fears.

2. Exercise Regularly -Staying fit for the mind, body/ heart and soul is imperative.

3. Eat Healthy -Satisfy the mind and body nutritiously.

4. Love and be loved -… Family and closest friends as the core and extend out to your other brother and sisters.

5. Practice Openness -Be honest with yourself and with others.

6. Do unto others… -The Golden Rule: do unto others, as you would want them to do unto you. Treat your friends and foes with respect and responsibility. Reach out and smile.

7. Be Active -Participate and get involved. Find purpose. Feed the soul.

8. Get the rest you need -For your daily needs and to elevate yourself to the top of this list again.

While balance is the stake and mortar in the ground, harmony is the connections or strong bonds, which bind them. Simply put, if balance is stability, then harmony is what embraces it. This list resonates within and I find its wealth in making me a more mindful, healthier, and better person.

In order to develop harmony, I formed strong bonds in my relationships with my children and others, improved my faith, got organized, reprioritized my life, and tied together all facets in my life. Examples of harmony are love, unity, agreement, faith, accomplishment, and good emotional health.

In order to create balance, I needed to build a firm base to stand on. I needed to find or develop stability. Examples of balance are sharing my life with a significant other or spouse and my children, chasing a dream, having an occupation, a good home, good physical health, family, and friends.

From my own personal experiences, this list will help you develop and bridge exhilaration and contentment in your life, the mere essence of happiness in my opinion. Join the ranks, who have incorporated and shared these 8 keys, and reach out to me today!


My Photo
Bruce Buccio resides in Colorado, USA, with his beautiful new wife, is loving dad, Author of "Parenting After Divorce: Rebuilding Your Life And Reaffirming the Relationships that Matter (2013)," court appointed state child advocate and expert counseling families professionally in parenting, relationship, personal growth and life changes. Today, he writes primarily inspired by experiences raising his children as single dad, but also writes about inspiration, growth, and love.


Photo courtesy of "sheknows.com"

© 2014 Bruce Buccio


March 2, 2014

8 Ways to Stop Yelling or Reprimanding

 Mentoring your child starts when they can share dialogue with you and can ask good questions. You want this kind of dialogue with your child to start early; expressing your concerns calmly on the issue at hand in a language they understand.
How do you view and define discipline as a parent? Finding the right balance that works with your child is your prerogative, within reason of course. What would happen if you were to start reasoning with your child with rationale and good understanding of the issue as if you were ... mentoring.

As a mentor, you may guide, advise, teach, and counsel others who may have less knowledge and understanding or experience such as your child. There are personal attributes which run hand in hand with mentoring, such as love, compassion, flexibility, and perhaps a lot of understanding. Mentoring your child starts when they can share dialogue with you and can ask good questions. You want this kind of dialogue with your child to start early; expressing your concerns calmly on the issue at hand in a language they understand. Here are eight identifiable ways to work through the issues without yelling or even reprimanding your children. With a consistent and confident approach, the results may just surprise you.

"In the process, you have shown you can respect your child when they are just trying to grow up; that you regard their shortcomings in lieu of their lack of experience."

  1. Guide your child with your understanding and acknowledgement of the issue. Talk your way through. Advise them on better choices with healthier consequences.  
  2. You want to be their "mentor" always explaining, always pointing out positive ways and always working as a team. You want kind, respectful and bilateral dialogue in a calm and natural setting always modeling your behavior in the manner you want mirrored. Be patient. If your child is testing you, stay your course and be confident.
  3. Make sure your loved one is clear on your concern by asking for clarity on the issue. Get their acknowledgement on the mistake, mishap, or bad decision.  
  4. Counsel your children on the importance of the issue and where there is virtue. In the end, you will have taught your child a valuable lesson that will keep them open-minded and listen the next time a situation arises. In the process, you have shown you can respect your child when they are just trying to grow up; that you regard their shortcomings in lieu of their lack of experience. Your wiser child is empowered with knowledge and perhaps regret, instead of feeling chastised or reprimanded. 
  5. Your "actions" should reflect their actions are not appreciated and not cool. You may not see good results immediately but always walk away with confidence that your child is listening even if its not immediately apparent. 
  6. Discipline should never result in your child feeling bad. Punishment or penalizing may not be wise if the result means your child is repeatedly not happy as a result or disagrees angrily stomping away. Something is wrong. You don’t want your child feeling bad, distressed, or even worse, humiliated. You want conclusions where both parties are in mutual understanding. If not, then more work is necessary. 
  7. Take time more wisely to gain understanding and common ground on the issue together. Another tactic not to impose is the quick punishment (when no questions are asked and quick conclusions are drawn based on impressions or assumptions) which means someone is going to have to feel bad and that may be both of you if you cannot separate yourself from the grief you just inflicted. Someone is going to have to take time away because of the conflict, which just occurred; ultimately designating each other to understand the extent of the problem on their own. There is no long-term benefit to this. 
  8. At a minimum, always allow your loved one to walk from the issue with understanding and clearly accepting their actions and subsequently your actions. Mentoring fosters trust and respect in your relationship instead of control, restraint, and consequently disorder. This enhances accountability and worth, in light of the issue, and this is an outcome you both can live with together.   

Bruce Buccio resides in Colorado, USA, with his beautiful new wife, is loving dad, Author of "Parenting After Divorce: Rebuilding Your Life And Reaffirming the Relationships that Matter (2013)," court appointed state child advocate and expert counseling families professionally in parenting, relationship, personal growth and life changes. Today, he writes primarily inspired by experiences raising his children as single dad, but also writes about inspiration, growth, and love.

© 2014 Bruce Buccio

February 14, 2014

Love Is About The Impossible

St. Valentines Day. Love is a delicate and prophetic topic that centers us with the universe--pinpointing right to your very soul and heart where it’s glowing for comfort, validation, approval, compassion and satisfaction.
Love is a delicate and prophetic topic that centers us with the universe--pinpointing right to your very soul and heart where it’s glowing for comfort, validation, approval, compassion and satisfaction.

Love is about the impossible. When love happens we hold this newness, investigate its power, and identify through its strength. Love feels, it knows, it binds.

Love comes in so many forms. We have our own meaning when it comes to love depending on whom we are relating. What we feel with our closest family and loved ones is the basis for what we find in our companion and partner. Love chooses us and it comes as a deviation when we least expect.

Love heals and feels and when least expected it finds you. Love doesn’t just happen- we allow it to ensue with affirmation, open heart, ready to embrace, culture, develop, and nurture always accepting with approval. Some things don’t need words--when we are in, it never matters how, what, or why.

I grew through my own sought after understanding of love. I learned engagement on many levels along with dedication and closeness through experience builds and manifests into meaningful relationships.

I discovered and relied on these paramount ideas through and as a result of my childhood and parenting time with my children- eventually I would exercise my development in my own unique relationship growing with you, my newest love, my bride:

You are worth fighting for.
You are a part of me. 
You are threaded through my being; mind, body and soul.
When you feel I feel. When you hurt I hurt.
You are loving and supportive.
You have unique features and qualities others strive.
You bring to the table all of the attributes that make you what is unmistakably you.
You are no other and no one is you.
You bring to this earth a dimension that stands on its own.
You have gained through your life and experiences, both bad and good, your unique ability to identify with and care about others.

Our love is immeasurable—your love is vast, endless, immense, and untold. My heart swells with joy knowing you are in my life. I love you with all of my being.

From your Valentine,

Bruce


Copyright © 2014 Bruce Buccio

February 4, 2014

Sports is more than masculinity and competitiveness

Even at the very lowest recreational level, sports can expose a child to social interaction influenced primarily by positive situations. Some not so positive issues in sports will confront your child, though if recognized and supported properly can help build character in your child. Exposure to sports at any level will open your child to issues which parallel life in general; these are the influences you want for your child to help prepare them for every day life.
"Your children will learn to intermingle with diverse groups"
Sports foster additional relationships within the organization and preferably a bond with others such as the coaches, team players and their families. Your child will grow with new opportunities to model themselves, their behavior and character.  He/She will share common goals with peers and begin to view himself/ herself with acceptance. They will learn and excel on different levels with their new sport. Your children will learn to intermingle with diverse groups. Once that seed of confidence is planted, your child will flourish. They will want to become better and better themselves. In addition to observing and understanding their role with others within the same age group, friendly competition within their team and against teams will enhance their growth and subsequently their confidence.
"A [great] coach is one who is ... vested in your child’s growth and development"
One fundamental difference for your child to stay interested in the sport, and perhaps with your patience as a parent, is a great coach. A coach is one who is not only knowledgeable in the sport, but also vested in your child’s growth and development. As a coach of boys and girls myself for many years, from the lowest recreational level to tournament/competitive level teams, I learned I could encourage and support any child by putting them in positions of success-even if it meant changing the game strategy.

           "It’s up to your child to be thee best"

Plenty of coaches have very good intentions. They may even be very social and friendly. You want a coach who will understand and be compassionate about your child’s needs in the sport-even teach them how to take risks to reach the next level. Eventually your child will reach or achieve club or competitive level sports. This will be a defining period on whether sports is still a priority and if being competitive without their coach’s compassion is a desire. Here, the coach will push your child to be their best. It’s up to your child to be thee best. A great coach will facilitate and support this development, but not hinder.
"...show your child how to manage...emotional curves..."
Your child in sports will be exposed to many ups and downs. It’s how you, as the parent, support and subsequently show your child how to manage these emotional curves, that will make the difference and create long-lasting benefits. Regardless of how successful your child is, at times: he/she may feel as though they are not good enough,  their emotions will rise and fall with wins vs. losses, they may even be hard on themselves when the games outcome appears to rest on their shoulders, or he/she may want to quit due to adverse situations which will arise.
"....relay the message that giving up on themselves or even quitting will only cheat them in the end"
Help them weigh the situation objectively with facts and relay the message that giving up on themselves or even quitting will only cheat them in the end. Life is filled with ups and downs; the hidden message you provide is that by not giving up, your child will progress through good practical experience and lessons that will carry into their adult life. Sports are a great opportunity for your child to experience life-paralleling issues and therefore prepare them for life’s challenges ahead.


Bruce Buccio resides in Colorado, USA, with his beautiful new wife, is loving dad, Author of "Parenting After Divorce: Rebuilding Your Life And Reaffirming the Relationships that Matter (2013)," court appointed child advocate and expert helping families professionally in parenting, relationship, personal growth and life changes. Today, he writes primarily inspired by experiences raising his children as single dad, but also writes about inspiration, growth, and love.





© 2014 Bruce Buccio

January 5, 2014

Finding Inspiration, Growth, Love and You When Your Marriage Falls Apart

Rebuilding Your Life and Reaffirming the Relationships that MatterMy new book is available and developed from my 
own personal experiences on Parenting After Divorce. This series of steps provides successful concepts, strategies and philosophies that are also expressed in an optional supporting seminar program. The program walks you through four main phases of coping, rebounding and rebuilding from divorce with your children: Inception, Elaboration, Construction, and Transition. 

Start here, if you are in a rut or have challenges and you are seeking wiser strategies/ resolution with regard to single or co-parenting. This in essence is your program with comprehensive steps to become more knowledgeable on creating a new niche in life with your children! 

The following content reflects a compilation of what I learned and accomplished with my children. The overwhelming benefit is the growth in my relationships. Today, I share mutual understanding, trust, love, and respect with my children. It’s these points, which got us there. My hope and wish is you'll buy, read, and develop/ share the same attributes and mutual feeling with your children as I do with mine. Share your review!

Find my book here!  Have a wonderful day and thank you for being a loyal fan!

Bruce

PS If you are happily married, I support you 100%, but please share with your friends/ family who may benefit from having a resource such as this! Thank You!

© 2014 Bruce Buccio

September 15, 2013

Disciplining Today’s Techno Teen/Tween doesn’t include a Street Corner

Today’s tweener and teen techno student is swept into an online popularity contest via smart phones and a whole host of media mobile devices and applications.
Today’s child is pulled into a world where we ourselves wouldn’t be comfortable at their age. We can’t compare our childhood with today’s child. Just think for a moment trying to keep up with online comparisons such as Facebook “friends” and “likes” while in junior high school. Today’s tweener and teen techno student is swept into an online popularity contest via smart phones and a whole host of media mobile devices and applications. Not to mention inherent challenges that come with an unpredictable environment such as cyber bullying among other senseless tactics- as parents our worst fear is a subsequent suicide from a defenseless and unwary adolescent.

Today’s topic is inspired by a recent national report on a parent who placed her 7th grader on a street corner with a sign apologizing for “twerking” at a school dance.

August 21, 2013

Talking with Your Children about Divorce

Speaking with your children together in advance about separation establishes a healthy pattern of communication with your children. Although what and how you say things varies by age, there are some central things that children always want to know.
We can’t expect our children to derive answers on their own. Learning to understand your child’s world through listening to their questions, ideas and thoughts will be critical-steal the opportunity to show your children individually, ‘I’m vested in YOU, YOU are important, and I approve of YOU lovingly and with acceptance.’

Speaking with your children together in advance about separation establishes a healthy pattern of communication with your children. Although what and how you say things varies by age, there are some central things that children always want to know.

Talking with children about separation won't be pleasant to say the least. Children between ages 8-13 will challenge you and will be upset. Children older may have already seen it coming. This doesn’t mean they won’t be hurt but may suppress those